Hey, hey crazy kids!!!!! This is Jeffrey Starmichael coming at ya!!!!

That’s right, Grrrrrrreat Haven, The Star Child has started his own website where he (I) will write about everything and anything I want to. Mostly, though, just Num-Num’s my sweet-ass novelty shop here in the town of GRRRRRREAT HaVEN!!!!!!!!

In honor of the Star Blog launch, I’m going to start a new feature on the Star Blog. It’s a list of some of this week’s very best specials of the week!!!! LOL!!!!

Lots of new items down at Num-Num’s this week. Here’s just a few of our current special values:

  • The Britney Spears caesarean scar! We’ve all seen it. Now you can wear it!!! Just stick it on your abdomen with the novelty adhesive (half off large tube with purchase of scar!!!). $14.95
  • Dirty Valentine’s Day cards starting at $1.95. (By the way The Star Child believes its no conicidience that Valentines Day abbreviated is VD. Be safe out there, huh, kids. No glove no love.)
  • (last but not least) Great Haven t-shirts 1/2 off!!!! And, no, I’m not talking about Tonya down at the Dusty Nickel Bar & Grille, whose T-shirt is always at least half off!!!! Zing!!!! (It’s funny because it’s true. But, Tonya if you’re reading this: I still love you, baby. If you take me back things will be different. I’ll stop drinking so much and I won’t get all paranoid when you get home late. Even if you do smell like that asshole Jake’s cologne. God damn I could kill that sumbitch. I swear to god, baby, if you go anywhere near him I’ll kill your dumb ass, too!)

And that’s it for this week specials down at Num-Num’s.

In closing, I’d like to say that it is an honor and a privilege to server the great community of Great HAven with this new websit. And, I’d also like to furthermore state that I am not drunk right now (Did you hear that Tonya?!?!) Just because I drink doesn’t mean I’m durnk. Some people can hold thier liquor (Unlike you, Tonya. Who goes around humping any barstool she can find whenever she gets a half pint of ripple into her. Listen, I’m sorry, baby. I love you. It’s the Jim Beam talking. You know you and me are menat to be together for ever. Call me. CALLL ME!!!!)

And for the rest of you out there in the Great Haven: Remember: If you didn’t get it at Num-Num’s, you’re a dumb-dumb.

– Jeffrey “The Star Child” Starmichael